The future has a way of arriving unannounced.

Although I cannot take credit for the title of this blog (George Will), it is entirely how I feel about life right now. It's hard to believe that I have lived in Korea for nearly a year and a half. It's just as hard to believe that my stay here is coming to an end.

With Stormy and Stuart already gone, my thoughts have become nostalgic. The thing I remember most about myself before coming to Korea and about the impending future was all of the fear I was harboring. I was uncomfortable with myself to the point that I wouldn't listen to music loudly in my own car for fear that someone may hear what I was listening to and not like the music and then judge me for what I was listening to...Strange I know, but that was my thought process. I used to be afraid to eat alone at a restaurant in fear that people would see me there and think I had no friends or that they would feel sorry for me. I hated my body, my hair and everything else you're told to hate about yourself in magazines.

Now only a year and a half later I barely recognize the person I was before. I listen to my music loud and proud. I even sing on the subways, trains and buses. I have no fear about people thinking I am strange. The fact is, I am a little strange! We're all strange in our own ways. I eat alone all the time without worrying myself about what people are thinking. I gained weight here...and I lost weight here. I'm now a little smaller than I was before I came to Korea and after being a little bigger I've learn to appreciate my body at all sizes. My hair is great because I don't have to really fix it! :) I've made changes in my life and in my attitude about life. I have, on more than on occasion, found myself making fun of myself for things that used to frustrate me - such as spilling a drink all over a stack of papers. I find the humor in life and the things that used to frustrate me now roll off my back. I know that it's just a moment in time, one that will pass just like all the others and this one will only be as good or as bad as I allow myself to make it. All of these small things have made a big change in the person I am.

But the biggest change I have noticed in myself and in my life is the absence of fear and the endless and exciting possibilities I lend to the future.
"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live." - Dorothy Thompson
After letting go of the fear of leaving home, leaving everyone I knew and loved to try a job I had never tried before, in a country I had never really even thought about -- somewhere in the mix I let go. Then traveling Thailand mostly alone for 15 days, I learned that I can be independent. I can go alone, I can go anywhere I want! Anything is possible. I've found that no matter where I am in the world, people are still just people. I let go of the fear that people from other countries would be so different from me that I wouldn't be able to understand them and that they wouldn't be able to understand me. Our common humanity stretches beyond the barriers of language, customs, culture and religion.

I'm reading a book called "Letters to Sam" by Daniel Gottlieb and it is just a series of letters from a grandfather to a grandson. The difference is that the grandfather is a paraplegic and the grandson has autism. The author has said a few times in the book that security is just a feeling, not a tangible thing. We're never truly secure. Our worlds can fall apart in the blink of and eye - our health taken, our family and friends taken, our wealth... I feel like I know a little bit about a world crashing down because of the false sense of security I had given myself. From the book I have taken that I should be grateful for what I have today. And because of my appreciation for the now, I have been able to allow myself to open up to new possibilities and to the future and it's uncertainty.

I love Korea. I love my life here and the extraordinary people I have met either here or through my experiences here. Korea has given me the opportunity to travel parts of the world I never truly believe I would ever be able to see with my own eyes. It has given me a comfortable life with very few worries and almost absent of stress. I have found that I have a passion for kids and I hope to work with children in the future.

List of things I will miss about Korea-

1. Cheap food. I can eat a pretty healthy meal here and be stuffed for 3,000 won ($2.50)

2. Public Transportation. Trains, Subways, Taxi's, Buses, ferries and even planes! I never knew that I would love traveling with countless unknown people as much as I do. It's cheap, it's good for the environment and for the most part it's pretty convenient here.

3. My job. I LOVE my job. It is the greatest job ever and it has lent me a lifestyle that I love and appreciate.

4. The ease of making friends. At home, you're usually friends with people you work with, grew up with or met because they know someone that fits into the first two categories. In Korea instant bonds are formed with other foreigners because you're all living a similar experience. Plus, we tend to stand out in a crowd!

5. Drinking. I know you can do this at home too. In fact, the beer is better at home and the selection of wines can't be beat! However, drinking is a part of Korean culture. On more than one occasion I have sat with my coworkers at school and shared a beer in the teachers lounge. Also, you can drink anywhere (public transportation!) and at anytime! There is no rush at 1:45am to go on a beer run or to leave the bar.

On more than a few occasions I have been walking down the street or alley ways and ran into a drunk person- young and old. And not just on the weekends, weekdays and at all hours of the day and night! The Monday before Stuart left Korea, he and I were walking down an alley to his hotel room and there was an older man, probably 60, stumbling along. We smiled and gave him a nod. Then I reminded Stuart of how much he is going to miss all the drunkards!!! :)

6. Absence of drugs. Not everyone will agree with me on this, but the absence of drugs in Korea makes it feel so much safer. It has made the drunkards you meet in the alley ways late at night less scary. At home you couldn't be sure if the man your facing is drunk or high or if he is going to rob/kill you to get money for his next fix. Luckily alcohol is cheap here! A bottle of soju costs about 85cents so even the most modest income can afford to enjoy alcoholism.

7. Mountains. The landscape in Korea is outstanding! I've said it time and time again, but I will always remember Korea as a beautiful place full of rolling green hills and mountains.

8. My bills. Yes, my bills. I will miss looking at my electricity bill and seeing it be less than $10. Can't beat it.

9. Ajuma. The little old lady that just knocked you over to cut you in line...yeah, that lady. I'm going to miss them and their boldness and no regrets/respect attitude! I've made it a personal goal that when I'm about 65 or 70 I'm going to cut all my hair off, dye it jet back and get a ridiculous perm. I will partner my new hair-don't with outrageously patterned/colored/mismatching clothing that I will wash with moth balls. Then I will happen upon unsuspecting youths and take their seats, place in line and if I feel like it, I will knock into them as I walk. How are they to get angry at a little old ajuma and not look like an ass? ;)

10. Love Motels. They're all over the country and they are exactly as they sound...hotels made for lovin'. In the lobby or hallways leading to the rooms you can usually find a random selection of porn free of charge! PLUS the rooms generally range from 30,000won per night to 70,000won. If you're staying for 70, believe that your room is outstanding! The 30K room will usually get you a full size bed, a mini fridge, a computer with internet access, a big flat screen tv and generally additional seating in the room. The rooms always seem clean enough to me. The blankets and pillows smell of bleach and the floor is well kept. They also usually give you a little pouch on your way to the room containing a condom, two disposable toothbrushes and one disposable razor. In the room you'll have shampoo, conditioner and toothpaste for sharing ;) I love the value for the quality and it makes traveling in Korea way more affordable.

There are so many things I could list that I will truly miss about the place I have made my home for the past year and a half but there are so many more that I can list about my home in America. If living in Korea has taught me anything, it's taught me how wonderful America really is. I'm so proud to be from America and OOOOOklahoma!

SO this will be my last post concerning living in Korea. Thank you so much for following and enjoying the ride with me. I saw that I've made 43 posts on this blog and it makes me think about how these are just a few of the major events that have happened to me. There are so many memories and small times I'll be able to take home with me and I'm so thankful for this experience.

안녕히 가십시오 Korea!

Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow.

- Dorothy Thompson


Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive -- the risk to be alive and express what we really are.

- Don Miguel Ruiz