Remembering David

At last the day has come that I never believed would be. It's been one year since David left us, April 4, 2009. It doesn't seem possible that it's already been a year...it doesn't seem possible.

I wanted to write a little about him and remember what a beautiful person he was. I fell in love with David when I was 15. I used to follow him around and hope that he would talk to me. Lucky me, he was in my Geometry class my Freshman year and he came to my house for homework "help" (AKA he wanted my old homework ;) ) I was gutsy enough to ask him to go to prom with me. After that night we began dating and seeing each other more and more, sharing our first kiss in a feed store.

We definitely had our ups and downs of the nearly seven years that we dated, but when I look back it's marked with lessons learned and a love that never seemed to quit. We grew up together.

What I remember most when I try to think of how to describe David to people I meet is that David was so open to everyone. He always saw the good in everyone. When I would tell him how I disapproved of this person or that person, he was always quick to tell me, "He's a good guy, he's just had a hard time." Or something along those lines. He was a friend to anyone who came in his direction and not just an acquaintance, he felt personally responsible for every person. I try to remember this as I continue life without him. I try to be better for the lessons he's given me.

I always like to tell the stories of waking up in the middle of the night to find him in the garage with his guitar and some beer - singing, drinking and playing. Sometimes I would wake up and just go listen to him without him noticing. Sometimes I would go sit with him and would say, "Hey babe, I'm sorry did I wake you up?". The best part of finding him like that was that I never saw him happier or at more peace than when he was playing the guitar and singing country music. That was also when I could just go and replace his guitar and sit on his lap and talk about anything in the world. His eyes we're a little softer, his voice a little sweeter and his touch even more loving. I loved those nights.

There was a week while I was still in college when he convinced me to go to the casino every night during spring break! We were having the best time, just he and I against the casino. Mostly losing but getting really excited for our small victories. Over the week, we lost $250 but I can't say that there was a better way to spend our money. We had hours of entertainment and beers every night and we bonded by singing to the live bands and losing together. It was an incredible week for us.

Which leads me to when we went to Round Rock together for the last time. Micheal, David and I packed in to Micheal's truck - me in the back as I had just had surgery about two weeks before and was still feeling pretty sore. David talked us into stopping at WinStar, the big casino on I-35 just before the Texas border. I thought it was a bad idea... I knew nothing good could come of us stopping but I knew it would make him happy so I agreed we could go in and lose $20 and leave. David loved the Red Ruby slots and he put his money in one, which I protested against because that girl was always taking my money, and he hit $800. I couldn't believe it! We were so excited we stayed around and gambled for a while before going to Round Rock. On the way, I took some pain pills and passed out in the back. David was worried I wasn't comfortable (and he loved sleep so much that he wanted to make sure I was getting the best possible sleep) so we pulled over at a Wal-Mart off the highway and he bought me a blanket and pillows. When we got back on the interstate I was sleeping comfortably for a long time before I woke up. When I woke up I couldn't figure out why we hadn't arrived in Round Rock yet. Wellllll David got on the highway going the wrong way and went for 45 minutes before realizing he had gone in the wrong direction! We went out of our way by TWO HOURS!!! It was the longest trip ever! But well worth it! We had an amazing time with his family and it seemed like we got to see a lot of people that we don't usually get to see. Michael and I slept on the way home while David blasted Randy Rogers Band. To this day I can't listen to Rand Rogers without thinking of David and that trip to Texas. It was an amazing one.

There are so many great times and memories. So much of him I want the world to know about. My mom said it pretty great when she said, "Everyone that lost David, lost a best friend" I really truly believe that.

The world will never be the same without him and I was so fortunate to have a world made of him.

I love you and miss you, David.



The universe in which we live is located equidistant between absolute order and absolute chaos-- a neutral position which we should expect from a universe that is impervious to our wishes. --David Mills