Dream on

This past weekend I stayed in Songtan, as usual and had a pretty good time. Sunday was the first day with warmish sun and we were so excited we could hardly wait to get outside and soak up some of that sweet sunshine!

The winter in Korea has been the longest of my life. I blogged back in November that it seemed that Fall was only a week and it's just been cold since then. Well, it's been freezing cold ever since. In Oklahoma at least we get those odd days, you know, the ones in December where the sun is out and we're hitting mid-70's and thinking nothing is strange about it. That is NOT the case here. So I say that Sunday was a warmish day - I think we were in the mid-50's to lower 60's.

Despite this, we put on our hoodies and sunglasses and went to downtown to enjoy a beer in the sun. While I was there I saw one of the guys I see nearly every weekend. I call him Nebraska because he's always wearing some type of Nebraska shirt or Jersey and of course a hat. He told me it was his last weekend before he moves to Arizona. I ended up hanging out with him and his friends the rest of the night.

I know that he is not someone I hang out with all the time, but it was comforting to know that I had one more friend in town...now he's gone. The point is - the turnover for friendship here is insane. I've now lived in Korea for 13 months and in those 13 months I've made some great connections with people from all over the world. People I would take home and they would mesh so well in my world. A lot of the people I have met and connected with more than others have been from Oklahoma. My core group of friends are mostly from Oklahoma. It's strange to think that you can go all the way around the world and end up right back at your front door. It's comforting to have people who understand you because they were raised the same way, went to the same field parties and back-roaded just like I did.

It's just sad to see them go. I'm glad that Stormy, Tara and Jessie will be here as long as I am and that I can count on them. They're pretty amazing people and I'm lucky to have great support like them.

Last night I was falling asleep and thinking about how most of my friends here are not staying here and how we're all just wandering along down our own path and by chance our paths met for a while and will eventually fork and send us to new places.

My thoughts led me to think about David and I dreamed of him. It's been so too long since I last saw him in real life or in dreams. I've missed him so much and recently I've been incredibly sensitive about losing him. The dream was he and I in my "new house" which was this run down apartment. He was sitting on a chair and I was talking to him about how much I missed him while I was cleaning. I went and sat on his lap and I had my arms around his shoulders and I swear I could feel the heat of his body. I felt him and his hair and his muscle. It felt so real. I told him that I loved him and I was so glad he was there. Then his family came over and they all looked sad, but I couldn't figure out why. I didn't think they should be especially excited to see him though. Then I woke up. When I woke up, there was a minute where I forgot he was gone. He was real. He was there in my crappy apartment. I was holding him. He was real. I immediately regretted not staying asleep. I felt like I didn't appreciate the time I had with him while I was dreaming. I prayed I could dream of him again. Instead I dreamed that my mom and Waylon were abducted by a cult and I had to save them :)

I'm grateful for the dreams I have of David. Especially ones where I can forget that he's gone. I can sit with him, feel him. Those are the good ones.